#day14

Two weeks. I've survived two weeks without James. And I'm still standing. Y'all, it's been tough. Not as tough as I thought but tough none the less. James does a lot for our sweet little family and I'm really ready for him to come home. The kids are ready for him to come home. They miss Daddy. I've been keeping us super busy to keep our minds off of things and that seems to be working some. I'm so thankful for sweet Godly men in my children's lives who love on them and play around with them, especially now when they are kind of down. And I am thankful for precious friends in my life who do life with me. 

Heather: My precious, spunky, fun, loving, fellow Army wife friend. Her family is the reason we are in this to begin with. We haven't been close for a super long time but gosh, I can't imagine life without her. Or her family. Her hubs, Jeff, is one of James' best friends and they have both been so supportive throughout this entire process. And their children.. Landon, Logan and Grace. Precious, sweet children. And they LOVE my boys. Love them. They play with them and help them and just hang out with them. Owen is completely obsessed with Logan. OBSESSED! But for real, those children are such a blessing. (Landon is still convinced he can teach Owen how to tie his shoes!!) 

Michelle: My partner in crime. My bestie. My neighbor. My sister. I cry on her shoulder a couple of times each week (even before James left). And she doesn't seem to mind one bit. I don't let a lot of people see me cry (I am an UGLY crier) but she's one that has probably seen me cry as much as James has and we haven't been close that super long either. Like, we are talking, we met in September! And boom, we're besties! I absolutely adore her children and husband. James and Dan were just getting to know each other a little better before James left. I'm hoping they can pick up where they left off when he gets back in June. And the littles.. are darling. They play with my kids and treat them as though they were all brothers. Which I love. And the boys love. No sugar coating in that family. They tell it like it is. And then there's Cody.. my kids ADORE him and he loves them right back. He's so good with them and they eat it up. I am thankful for his friendship throughout this whole thing too.. he keeps me young!! 

Baylee: Precious, sweet girl. Mickie (her man) is headed to Korea in the Air Force in March. She's a fellow Army girl who has been around the block. A little different experience than Heather's as she isn't married yet but still, her encouragement is awesome and I treasure her friendship! And she texts me at 12:30am when I need it the most!

Parker: Hilarious! Although she's still in high school.. she is wise beyond her years. She sends scripture and I love it. And her! She's fantastic.

Molly: See above! She is awesome and spunky. Love her sweet encouraging words especially on rough mornings. 

Eliana: Beautiful, fun, quiet, sweet, TALL friend. I've known the girl 12 years and she has turned into a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Y'all, she is great. She also is great about sending scripture that the Lord lays on her heart. 

Bekah: LOVE this girl. Honestly haven't seen her in forever.. and we literally live next door to each other.. but she checks on me often and I love that. I miss her tremendously and can't wait until summer when we can sit in my driveway and tan :)

Piper: My precious babysitter/mama friend. She is graciously keeping Peyton for me while I work during the week. She has 3 darlings of her own, yet loves on Peyton so much and understands when he gets sad and a little grumpy. She even has reward dinosaurs for him if he's good. So thankful for the blessing that she is to our family.

Josh: He checks on me almost every day which is awesome. And I know he's just a phone call away (or I can walk next door.. if he's home lol)

Gwynn: My precious, cancer surviving warrior friend. She prays for me and thinks of my family often. I am so grateful for her love and compassion even when she's going through crap.

Courtni: Wrestling mama. She's feisty and awesome. She's tough and strong! The Lord is going to use her in a powerful way. I am thankful for her courage and tenacity. 

And then there's family.. family is awesome and I am so so thankful. My in-laws and parents kept the kids last weekend while I went to Co's wrestling out in Pittsboro. And my MIL has invited us for dinner one night a week which has been fun. No cooking for me! Mom is always great.. she's watching Peyton on Fridays for me so I don't have to pay my babysitter. James' aunt and uncle text me every other day "just to check." It makes me feel loved. Oh, and we're going to the circus with them in a few weeks.. STOKED!! It's nice to know someone's got my back if I need them. 

The Lord has been so gracious to me this year. He has allowed so many friendships to develop and thrive in such a short period of time. We started Faith a year and a half ago and all of the folks I've mentioned, minus my neighbors, are from there. And all of them are my best friends! I've gotten to know them and their families and everyone has welcomed us with open arms. I am the most blessed girl in the world. Yeah, my husband is gone and we are all sad about it, but I am thriving in my relationships with friends and most importantly, Jesus. I'm learning to lean on him for my strength. He sustains me daily. 

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Psalm 105:4

Never abandon a friend-either yours or your father's. Then in your time of need, you won't have to ask your relatives for assistance. It is better to go to a neighbor than to a relative who lives far away. Proverbs 27:10

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Proverbs 27:9

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all  he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4: 6-7

50lbs GONE!

before:

after:

I fit into my mama's wedding dress!

I am officially under 130lbs! It took a year and half of intense calorie counting/running but I finally reached my goal and I couldn't be more thrilled!! I started my journey at 180lbs. I was unhappy and very un-athletic! I enjoyed eating and watching TV on my butt. I didn't know how to run or portion control. But James loved me for who I was so I was determined to love myself also. Too bad, I didn't. I really wasn't happy. My jeans were tight and most of my clothes looked horrible on me. I didn't like a belly. I was a size 10 (which NOTHING is wrong with a size 10.. it could have been much bigger!!) but I knew I could be smaller. And we were sitting at the table one night with James' cousins and they were all talking about losing weight by calorie counting with this new app. I was eating a brownie. Needless to say, I decided I needed a change. I started the next day. I was disgusted at the weight I saw on the scale and set a goal of 50lbs to shed. I didn't care how long it took, I just wanted it gone. At first, it came off slowly. Like, SUPER slow. I think I was expecting immediate results and that was not the case. Oh, and I was starving! I was only allowed 1200 calories per day. For someone who can eat a lot more than that (in one sitting mind you), I was starving. But then I learned how to eat better and be full. And the weight started coming off and before I knew it, I had lost 10lbs! I was thrilled!!! I knew my main goal of 50lbs was doable but a long way off, so I set little goals. At 170, I didn't want to see that number again and aimed for 165. Every 5lbs was another goal and another victory. Eventually, I needed to buy new pants. I remember walking out with size 8s! Such a fun feeling. And before long, I was into a size 6. I can't tell you the last time I wore a 6! The weight continued to slowly fall off. I learned to run and I ran my 1st race (4K) last year with my friend Tina, and my second race (5K) on my birthday with James. New goal: Half marathon by next year. I've got two in mind.. just have to decide which I want to sign up for. A few months ago, my size 6's were getting too big so I needed to buy new pants again! (First world problems, I know). I walked into Old Navy (because who doesn't love ON jeans!?) looking for some 4's and walked out with 2's. Y'all. That. Doesn't. Happen! To be honest, I was really happy in a size 6. But a size 2.. it's just a bonus. Seriously. Bonus points. Since then, I finally shed the remaining few pounds and I am currently sitting around 128lbs. I want to be in a safe zone between 125-130lbs. Realistically, I don't need to be any smaller and honestly, I'm in a good place. Yeah, I wish my stomach was a little flatter and my boobs would shrink a little but to see how far I've come.. I'm happy. And I proved that it's doable. No secret diet. I still ate what I wanted. I ate bread. I ate ice cream. I ate pizza. I just didn't eat as much. I never denied myself anything that I wanted. Never. I just learned portion control. And exercise was extra. Yes, I learned to run, but I started with walking. I am still not a good runner (ask my neighbor Cody.. hilarious!) but I'm learning and I know I can get better. No magic pill. No magic diet. Just lots of sweat and hard work and self control.

*Side note: now that I have reached my goal, I'm starting to have body image issues. I mentioned that I set little goals within my large goal.. once I hit my final goal, I didn't know how to stop, exactly. I've proven that I know how to lose weight. I don't know how to maintain yet. I'm going to start toning (next week) and pick up my running but my newest challenge is accepting that I don't need to lose any more weight. And I say challenge because that's exactly what it is. A big one. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Bear with me.. it could be a while but I'll figure it out.

PS: if you have any questions, please ask me. anything. i'm an open book!!

ljk

life at the moment

Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything! Tell God what you need and thank him for what he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

James leaves in 41 days. For 6 months. For 6 months, I'm going to be a real single mom. On purpose. Will I make it? Yes. Can I do it alone? Heck no. Is it going to suck major? Yes! Will my God sustain me? You bet. I am holding to the promise above.. I will experience God's peace. I will. Promise. I am so thankful for friends and family that are close and willing to help me out. And I am so thankful for a God who loves and cares for me and my children even when I run away in fear. Even when I doubt, he is still there calling me back to him.

I will make it out on top. I will.

ljh

blessed

We have officially been at Faith for one year! I remember before we switched last year, hoping we would find a new family and get to know some people at Faith. I remember being terrified to leave PBC. I remember walking in that first day and knowing one other family and that was it. I remember being nervous that we weren't going to make friends or that it would take a long time. I remember hoping that we would belong someday. I remember the smiles and not knowing any of the songs (turns out, our music director writes most of them himself). And I remember feeling like we made a good decision. 

I am SO glad we made that decision. We are so close to church. We are involved in a sunday school class. We have made some INCREDIBLE friends. Our kids are involved. I got to know some pretty awesome youth this summer. I am currently teaching some fantastic 8 year old girls during the third hour. I am still involved with my women's bible study on Tuesdays. I have recently started attending the Wednesday night bible study at church (and knowing A TON of folks there!!). I've gotten to know more Faith families in our neighborhood. I've gotten a few more babysitters in my book just in case. Y'all, it's awesome to have such a fantastic family who share a common bond. 

I love walking into church and seeing tons of familiar faces. I know their names and they know mine. Refreshing to say the least! I love giving hugs to so many sweet friends that I've seriously known less than a year. Recently, I met a sweet kid down the street who happens to go to Faith. He is good friends with another neighbor and happened to be walking with them one evening. Turns out, he's my newest babysitter for the kids and he's fantastic with them. I realized the day before he came over for the first time, that I'd better meet his mama (you know, so I don't look like a creeper lady down the street). As we got to talking, she told me that she's the choir director for Owen's kids' choir on Wednesday nights. Shut the front door. Talk about a God connection here. And she's precious enough to offer help with the kids when James leaves in January. We just met. Like a week ago. Blessed, y'all. For real.

My mind is not focused so I'm going to wrap this up. More to come. I love bragging on my sweet sweet friends.

ljh

NCSU vs. GSU

Football has returned and Dad is happy again!! In typical NCSU fashion, we barely squeaked out a win on Saturday against Georgia Southern but hey, a win is a WIN! That's right.. starting 1-0 isn't bad. Now, we just have to keep it up! It was super hot and I drank a TON of water (and had to pee like every 20 minutes) but we had a blast doing our thing. Good to see old friends and take silly pictures with my sister.

ljh

kindergarten

I'm officially a mama of a school kid! What? Yes! Owen started Kindergarten yesterday!!! Still a little surreal that this will be our life for the next 15 years but hey, it had to start sometime. Kiddo has a fantastic teacher and assistant and seems to really enjoy school (so far). He was very excited to check out books from the library yesterday and then head to the computer lab to "play games" today. Crazy. Tomorrow is day 3. Can't believe it.

a few things about me..

1. I enjoy Diet Coke. But I really enjoy drinking Diet Coke from a straw. Like, a fountain drink version. Preferably in a styrofoam cup.
2. When I eat chips out of the bag (yes, I still do this sometimes), I only eat with my pointer finger and thumb. I HATE getting any other fingers "dirty" with chips.
3. I really enjoy cuddling. With my husband. With my kids. With my dogs.
4. I drive with no shoes. Always.
5. I never wear tennis shoes/sneakers unless I am exercising. They are never a part of my daily foot wear when I am out and about. Never.
6. I wear rubber gloves when doing dishes.
7. I have a hard time making "mom friends," especially if our kids are friends. I have this irrational fear that I won't like the mom but I'll have to hang out with her because our kids are friends. Thankfully, I do like all of my current mom friends :)
8. I can't stand it when guys wear too much cologne. I don't need to smell you unless I'm right up on you.
9. When I eat small foods, such as M&Ms or Skittles, I must have an even amount in my mouth. I have a thing for symmetry.
10. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my sweet boys getting along/loving each other.

ljh